When people are invested and immersed in their relationships it can be hard for people to notice if they are in a toxic relationship. It can often take an outside professional perspective to gently point out controlling behaviors. These kinds of relationships can easily sneak up on anyone. Dr. Andrea Bonior, a contributor writer for Psychology Today has a list of 20 signs that show if your partner is controlling.
- Isolating you from friends and family
- Chronic criticism
- Veiled or overt threats
- Making acceptance/caring/attraction conditional
- An overactive scorecard
- Using guilt as a tool
- Creating a debt you're beholden too
- Spying, snooping, or requiring constant disclosure
- Overactive jealousy, accusations, or paranoia
- Not respecting your need for time alone
- Making you "earn" trust or other good treatment
- Presuming your guilty until proven innocent
- Getting you so tired of arguing that you'll relent
- Making you feel belittled for long-held beliefs
- Making you feel like you don't measure up or are unworthy of them
- Teasing or ridicule that has an uncomfortable undercurrent
- Sexual interactions that feel upsetting afterwards
- Inability or unwillingness to ever hear your point of view
- Pressuring you toward unhealthy behaviors, like substance abuse
- Thwarting your professional or educational goals by making you doubt yourself
To learn more about these signs of a controlling partner, click here.