When the Coronavirus quarantine went into effect, news reports almost immediately started predicting divorce rates would surge. Breakups, they claim, are bound to happen.
This is not necessarily true, however.
To let something like a quarantine come between you and the person you love would mean your relationship is weak. It is anything but weak. The two of you have been may have been through many ups and downs, as most couples have. When you committed to your partner, you committed to putting in the effort it takes to make a relationship successful, no matter what the circumstances.
Quarantine is a temporary circumstance. There will be common relationship issues during this time. However, rather than tear you apart, there are things you can do to make your relationship stronger. One of the most effective steps you can take is to participate in relationship therapy while quarantining.
How to Seek Therapy During Quarantine
Marriage and family therapists understand relationships can undergo strain, especially during a nationwide crisis. This is why they have adapted counseling practices so that you can start or continue therapy during this time of crisis.
Therapists are making it possible to assist you via online resources, such as Zoom. The online conferencing software used by therapists must be HIPAA compliant, so your privacy remains secure.
You make an appointment with your therapist and connect via video conferencing.
Let us discuss some of these common problems and learn how therapy can help.
You Are Together Too Much
Before quarantine, you spent time apart. You were separated most of the day, making your time together more valuable. Today, you are together all the time and may miss having personal space.
This is a common problem among couples. It is possible that you many not feel like you did at the beginning of your relationship when you wanted to spend every minute of every day together. As with every couple, the honeymoon phase ends, and during this phase both together time and independent time can both strengthen your relationship.
Working with a therapist during quarantine, you may not learn how to return to the honeymoon phase, but you can learn ways to hold on to your independence while still strengthening your relationship.
Fear Over Finances
During quarantine, you may not be allowed to go to work. Some of you may not even be able to work from home. This creates fear about your finances. Sure, the government provided a bit of help, but it is certainly not enough to sustain your family.
It is common for couples to stress over finances. Every purchase, like that mocha latte or new car part, can create tension. Before long, you are arguing daily about your financial situation. It does not have to be this way, however.
Because spending is directly related to emotions, your relationship therapist can help. Understanding and expressing your feelings with one another can help you get on the same page. You can also develop goals and a game plan for handling your finances during a crisis.
Unequal Division of Chores
Now that you are both home all the time, you may see an increase in the amount of cleaning needed. If you are doing all the work around the home, you will start to resent your partner. Your resentment will continue to build and, eventually, create a massive problem in your relationship.
Communication skills are vital to preventing resentment towards your loved one. Working with a marriage counselor can help you learn communication skills and figure out how to divide chores.
Accept That Arguments Will Happen
The Knot conducted a study on couples during the Coronavirus scare and found 40% of couples noted an increase in small arguments since being quarantined together.
If you are noticing this same increase, you can feel better knowing you are not alone. Spending this much time with someone will lead to disagreements. However, they do not have to lead to significant blowups.
There is a right way and a wrong way to argue. Your counselor can teach you how to resolve and move on from small arguments quickly. The way you end an argument is just as crucial as your resolution and why it began.
Displaced Aggression
Your boss makes you angry. You cannot yell at your boss, so you may start yelling at your spouse. This makes your spouse mad, but since they cannot yell back at you, they yell at the kids, who then take it out on the dog, and so on.
Anytime you cannot show your anger towards the actual source, and direct that anger in the direction of someone innocent, you are displacing your aggression. Unfortunately, this is very common in relationships.
Perhaps you know your loved ones will forgive you. Maybe you do not know what to do with that anger. A licensed therapist can teach you how to avoid displaced aggression, saving you and your family a lot of wasted time spent in anger.
Not Making the Most Out of Quarantine
Before the Coronavirus, you may have stated many times that you wanted more time to spend with your spouse. With that time, you could reconnect and become close again. You wanted the opportunity to rekindle the sparks that may have faded due to the stresses of life.
Now you have the time. Implement those creative relationship-building ideas you have had over the years. Work with a therapist to develop even more ideas.
Find fun ways to relax together, like bubble baths or massages. Start a new hobby together. Make each other laugh.
This quarantine may be just what your relationship has needed for a long time. Here is to making the most of it.