The relationships you have with others influence your mental and physical health. Healthy relationships encourage you to be your best. At work, they enable you to be more productive, to learn, and grow. Personally, healthy relationships support you in good and bad times. With healthy social relationships, you can surround yourself with people who want the best for you, helping you make positive decisions.
There are countless benefits to having positive relationships with others. Does that mean all your relationships are positive? No.
The only way to change someone else’s behavior is by improving yourself and your reaction to them. Instead of waiting on others, there are things you can do starting today, like the suggestions below.
Improve Communication
How you engage in communication with another person can be healthy or unhealthy, even during an argument. Yes, there is a healthy way to argue. It is natural to want to defend yourself when someone disagrees with you. However, doing so prevents you from effectively communicating and reaching a solution to the problem.
To improve communication skills, actively listen to what the other person is saying. When they stop talking, you should reflect on what you heard and how they are feeling. When it is your turn to talk, speak respectfully and with empathy. Use "I" statements, like,
“I feel overwhelmed by the workload given to me this week.”
Compare this statement to,
“You let all the other workers off easy and give me the most work.”
The second statement will put your boss or coworker on the defensive and is less likely to reach a
solution.
Additional communication tips include offering compliments to others, even the ones you find difficult.
What you say and how you say it can change relationships with others.
Spend More Time Together
The more time you spend with someone, the better you get to know them. Some family members spend so little time together they don’t know their likes and dislikes. Even spending an hour or two extra a month with someone will improve your relationship.
As you get closer, you will increase trust and discover exciting facts that can help you choose gifts for them or develop fun activities to participate in together.
Spending more time together means planning activities that you will both enjoy. If you want to be more intimate with your partner, plan a romantic activity. If you want to improve relationships with coworkers, plan team-building activities.
An essential tip for spending time together includes avoiding distractions and interruptions. Leave your cell phones and other devices out of the activity.
Work With an Expert
Counselors exist in every field. Industrial psychologists work with large corporations, marriage and family therapists work with personal relationships, and group counselors work with social groups. Do not be afraid to reach out for help when you need to improve relationships.
Seeking help is a sign of courage and strength. It means you cherish your relationship enough to seek advice from a professional. A counselor can teach numerous techniques and activities that will help you and your relationships become healthy.
Own Your Stuff
The term "stuff" does not refer to material items. It means your emotions, thoughts, feelings, actions, desires, mistakes, and more. You must let defenses down and admit when you are wrong, express how you feel, and show others; you are human.
Too often, people try to be strong emotionally all the time. No one can accomplish this goal, however. Too many things happen during the day at work, home, school, and socially. It is impossible to avoid the emotional ups and downs that life offers daily.
Instead of trying to suppress the ups and downs, express them in a healthy way. Emotions are not bad; the way you express them does not have to be bad either. Healthy expressions include not ignoring emotions and instead identifying them. It is easy to get mixed up on how to show your feelings. Some people cry when angry or laugh when nervous. This can confuse the people in your relationships.
Learn to connect the right feeling with the proper expression. For example, when you are feeling happy, smile and laugh. When you feel sad, allow yourself time to cry or frown before shaking it off.
Give to Receive
Do not wait on someone else to start improving the relationship. If you are married and think your spouse should appreciate you more, start telling your spouse why you appreciate them every day. If you have a child, start telling them how much you love them, despite their mistakes. In a very short time, they will likely be returning gratitude.
You can show your appreciation in many ways, including leaving sticky notes, thanking them, or complimenting them. You can bake their favorite dessert, plan their favorite activity, write a letter, or simply smile at them more while looking them in the eyes.
Make the positive connections outweigh the negative, and you will receive the benefits of an improved relationship.
Take Care of Yourself
You have put everyone above yourself, neglecting your physical and emotional health so that others can be happy. As you may already know, this is not working. The reason is that you will never be able to truly help others or give to others unless you are healthy mentally and physically.
Engage in activities starting today that improve your relationship with yourself. See a doctor about your aches and pains, start exercising, take a bubble bath, get a massage, and find ways to affirm you are a good person worthy of self-care because you are.
Working with an individual therapist is one of the best ways to see quick results. Once you start taking better care of yourself, your other relationships will naturally improve and become healthier. You are the most significant influence on the people with whom you are in a relationship. Be a role model for positive health, and your friends, family, and coworkers will follow. You deserve the best from yourself and others!