Family problems are abundant today. Everyone is affected by the stressors of school, work, home, and social responsibilities. Family systems consist of people with varying cultures, religions, careers, dreams, and ideals. With so many differences, it’s easy to understand why problems exist.
Creating a healthy family system takes work, just like any other relationship. There are specific skills each family member can learn and practice to better deal with problems as they arise. Below are seven common types of problems faced by American families today. They are followed by a brief explanation of skills that can help any family overcome a problem together.
1. Financial Problems
A 2021 study reports nearly 40% of American family households have significant financial problems. Some families could not buy food or medical care in the few months before the survey. This considers the relief funding supplied to all families during the pandemic.
Financial stress comes in many forms, like debt, healthcare, cost of living, job loss, low wages, no savings account, no retirement, college fees, childcare, and lifestyle. Without a solid financial plan and everyone in the family is on the same page, problems will arise.
How to Deal:
Budgeting as a family is one of the best ways to get on track financially. Hold a weekly or monthly meeting to create a family budget. Use online budgeting programs to guide the discussion. Dave Ramsey’s Every Dollar worksheet has helped millions of people. And it’s free.
You may also want to meet with a financial counselor. Still, because spending money is more about behaviors and less about math, you will benefit more from meeting with a licensed marriage and family therapist.
2. Lack of Communication
Communication is the act of speaking and listening to someone else without interruptions. It’s an exchange of information that gives you a chance to show empathy. For families, it’s a time to get to know one another better. Communication is more than eating a meal together and discussing the day’s events.
Poor communication leads to misunderstandings, missed opportunities, lack of trust, and hurt feelings. Children feel abandoned, disconnected, and they don’t learn to cope appropriately. Language skills are underdeveloped, and it becomes difficult to form bonds with others.
How to Deal:
To improve communication, you must spend time together without access to cell phones and other electronic devices.
3. Infidelity
Relationships are built on expectations and agreements about boundaries and what is unacceptable regarding behaviors and interactions with others and yourself. Violating expectations and commitments is known as infidelity, which is usually covered in secrecy.
Examples include financial infidelity, like when one of you spends or gambles away the money you’ve earned behind your back. Sexual infidelity is being intimate with someone other than your spouse.
How to Deal:
Although it is a massive betrayal of trust, couples can work through the infidelity with the help of a marriage and family therapist using specific counseling tools that promote forgiveness and the rebuilding of trust. Infidelity matters should only involve the two people involved. This is not an issue in which children should be involved.
4. Parenting Styles
Parenting style should be discussed before marriage, but most people don’t think about it until they have children. You and your spouse were raised differently. You will probably have different ways you want to parent. There are many decisions to make regarding children, like discipline, religion, healthcare, or public versus private school.
How to Deal:
It’s okay for couples to disagree on parenting issues. You can both win if you learn how to compromise rather than fighting to win. Working with a marriage and family therapist can teach you how to weigh essential issues so that you both are heard and have a say in the final decision.
5. Extended Family Relationships
No matter how great some can be, in-laws may cause division at some point in your relationship. It may be that the grandparents are spoiling the children, siblings are nosey, or long-lost cousins borrow money without repayment.
How to Deal:
The key to handling family issues is to do it together. Avoid reacting based on emotions. Instead, make time to discuss how you want to handle the problems.
6. Mental Illness
In America, over 60 million people over the age of six have a mental illness. That’s one in six children and adolescents and one in five adults. How many people are in your family? It’s likely one or more have a mental health issue. If so, then you understand how one family member’s mental health can affect the entire group.
The same is true with alcohol and drug use disorders. It affects the entire family.
How to Deal:
Mental health and substance use disorders can be overcome, and the whole family can heal. But it takes help from licensed and trained professionals who provide treatment based on your individual needs. There are inpatient and outpatient options for mental health, substance use, or co-occurring disorders.
7. Future Goals
Your family is made up of multiple individuals with different dreams and goals. It is expected that you will disagree at times. Having different goals doesn’t mean your relationship is in trouble. You can work together to merge your goals when possible or establish a plan for all of you to reach your goals. In some instances, you may need to compromise. These are skills you can learn in family therapy.
In conclusion, all families have problems. Not all families try to become a stronger unit despite difficulties. Your family can be different. You can reach out for help from a family therapist, a specialist in relationships. You won’t regret spending a few hours learning new skills to enhance your family’s dynamics and functioning.
Talk to your family and get their feedback. Together, you can make this a priority. Within a short time, you will start noticing the positive changes in the relationships you value the most. Your family is worth it!