Do you know a negative person?
If so, you know how difficult it can be to have a balanced conversation with that person. A negative person will tend to view things from a negative mindset, which can be emotionally taxing and motivate you to create distance between that person.
If you have a friend, relative, or co-worker who tends to complain or criticize, you also know it is not always possible to create distance.
In this article, you will discover how to deal with negative people.
How to Deal with Negative People
Negative.
What does that mean? It is hard to know how to deal with negative people when we do not understand the concept of being negative.
Negative in this context means to focus on what is bad. While the definition seems simple, the reasons someone is negative can be complex.
Some choose to be negative because it makes them feel better like they are venting and releasing stress in some way. Others choose to be negative because they want attention and have learned that negative behavior gets just as much, if not more, attention than positive behavior.
Some people do not even know they are being negative. They were likely raised by negative parents and have just adopted their habits. They may have low self-esteem or have found that using negativity helps them manipulate people in order to get what they want.
There are negative people who feel like they are a victim and the world is against them. Complaining, thinking they cannot achieve positive goals, and envy are a few more reasons. The list could go on and on.
No matter what their reason, you will not be able to change them. There is no powerful statement, ultimatum, or profound piece of advice that can make them stop being negative unless they truly want to change.
The only thing you can change is how you deal with negative people.
Here’s how to deal with negative people …
Stay Silent
When someone starts complaining, it is tempting to jump into the conversation, whether it is to try and make them feel better, to argue with them, or to complain also. You may not realize that silence is a wonderful action.
If you do not engage in the negativity, it is more likely to stop. If you do not give someone ammunition, they cannot use their weapon, which in this case is negativity.
Speak Up
Although we just spoke about being silent, if silence does not work, try the opposite. Speak up and state your feelings about his or her negativity. You do not have to be mean to let someone know you are not comfortable with hearing them complain, badmouth, or assume the worst.
Even if they are only being negative about themselves or their lives, the negativity can still affect you.
Handle the negative person by redirecting the conversation to a more positive topic.
Change the Conversation
When someone tries to use negativity to control your conversation, try changing the conversation altogether. For every negative statement, someone makes, challenge it with a positive statement. For every negative comment, someone makes about another person, counter it with a positive statement about that same person.
There is always something positive you can say about someone.
You are not required to participate in a conversation with a negative person. Realizing this gives you the power to handle negative people.
Implement Boundaries
Knowing you do not have to stick around while someone else complains or worries or vents, you can implement even more boundaries to help you handle negative people.
You can limit the amount of time you spend with someone in person, on the phone or online. You can express to them your plans to disengage with them if you feel they are being too negative. You can even avoid seeing them if you feel their negativity is hindering your mental or physical health.
Examine Your Own Negativity
Negative people often choose to be negative with someone else who is negative. It is the whole “misery loves company” theory. Therefore, it’s important to analyze yourself to make sure you are not getting involved in negativity as well.
How often do you complain? How often do you worry, get angry, or get jealous? Keep a journal answering questions like these and at the end of the week, you can get a realistic perspective on yourself.
If you find that you are too negative, it is never too late to change. One of the best ways to understand how to deal with negative people is to look inward at your own negativity. Sometimes improvement happens faster with the help of a counselor.
Get Help
Seeking help from a therapist is a great opportunity to learn how to become more positive. You can even invite other negative friends to attend therapy with you.
Counselors have resources to help you or your friend reduce negative thinking. You will see positive changes in your mood, outlook, expectations and how you approach others.
If you do not need help, you can still handle negative people by suggesting they consider the benefits of individual therapy. Supporting someone who wants to become more positive is admirable if it does interfere with your pursuits for good physical or mental health.
Do Not Be A Savior
To handle negative people, you must also be aware that not every negative person will think they have a problem. They may think you are the one with the problem. They may refuse to get help. That is okay.
It is not your job to save them from negativity. It is not your job to force them into therapy or work with them for a long time. It is not your job to remain friends with them if they choose to remain negative.
Do not invest so much of yourself that you start to feel overwhelmed or stressed. Instead, offer your support and stay focused on maintaining your positive lifestyle.
You do not have to stop loving negative people, but for your health, you may need to start loving them from a distance if they are not willing to change.
Conclusion
In conclusion, learning how to deal with negative people really means learning how to handle yourself. Protect your time and your health. Pay attention to your own attitude, replace negative thoughts with positive ones, keep a gratitude journal, and seek counseling if you need it.
Finally, choose positive. Meaning, hang around positive friends, watch positive television shows, listen to uplifting music, work in a healthy environment and do things that benefit you physically and mentally.
Put yourself first and start enjoying the wonderful life you have established and are constantly creating.