Empowering someone else means giving them power, not to be confused with giving them your power. It means to give someone else what they need to succeed. Some people may need education, while others may need encouragement. In marriages and romantic relationships, empowerment should be offered by both partners.
Your goal is to empower your partner so they can be their best self in your relationship. Your partner can live up to and exceed your expectations with the right tools.
You may be thinking, “why should I empower my spouse when they don’t empower me?” It’s normal to feel this way. Life can be challenging, and couples often fail to show appreciation to the one they love the most. Dealing with life’s obstacles can also make it difficult to find what you need within yourself to stay lifted, positive, and motivated. Instead, you may let it weigh you down. The same is true for your partner. They are too overwhelmed to empower themselves. Therefore, you must give them what they need.
Behaviors are contagious, and when you start trying to empower your spouse, you may receive the same type of empowerment from your partner. You cannot change another person, however what you can do is change how you interact with them. Below are some examples of how to empower your partner for a better relationship.
Say Something Nice
Some couples can go days without meaningful conversations, much less complimenting each other. You may start trying to say something nice to your spouse every day. Your words stick with your partner, and they begin to believe what you say over time. If you constantly point out the traits you do not like, their self-esteem and your relationship will suffer.
There are many ways to compliment your spouse, including through a text, verbally, handwritten notes, email, or social media. You do not have to come up with outstanding one-liners. You can empower your spouse with positive statements about their work and family contributions or tell them why you love them.
Let Them Win
You do not need to be right in every conversation you have with your spouse. Allow them to have the answers, make important decisions, and win the argument. They will feel valued and appreciated. If you struggle with giving up control or the need to win, spend time exploring why. Work on building your self-esteem. When you are confident, you won’t feel like you must prove yourself to others.
Empower your partner for a better relationship by allowing them to share in being a leader and a major contributor to the family’s success.
Find Out What They Need
Your partner is likely more than willing to tell you what they need mentally and physically if you ask. Have a conversation with your spouse and talk specifically about their needs. You will also get to talk about your needs. Neither of you is a mind reader, which is why regular communication is essential.
Needs may include trust, safety, intimacy, empathy, variety, fun, acceptance, unconditional love, etc. When you talk to them about their needs, find out how they prefer to have their needs met. Then, work towards meeting them. It won’t take long for your partner to feel empowered.
Focus on the Positive
Your thoughts influence your actions. Negative thoughts about your spouse will lead to negative behaviors, like fighting or neglect. Unfortunately, humans are naturally inclined to focus on the negative. However, your relationship is not all negative. There are good moments that deserve attention. You may find ways to focus more on positive thoughts about your spouse.
When you have a negative thought, immediately stop it, and replace it with a positive thought. Doing so will transform your relationship and yourself. You will start replacing negative thoughts with positive ones in other areas, like work, home, and society. The outcome is that you and your partner feel empowered.
Have Fun
Remember when you first started dating and falling in love? You were having fun. You and your spouse engaged in activities that made you laugh and build great memories. Whether hanging out with friends, attending concerts, playing games, or seeking adventures, you did it together.
Just because you have been married for a while doesn’t mean you have to stop having fun. Sure, work, home, and social responsibilities are important, but not as important as your relationship.
To start having fun again, you must plan. Repeat the activities you once enjoyed together. Don’t worry about age, body changes, or what your friends may say. Instead, stay focused on the benefits of having a good time together. Break out of the humdrum routine and rediscover the fun in your relationship. Laughter can be both healing and empowering, especially when done together.
Bring Back the Romance
Intimacy is a significant part of empowering your partner for a better relationship. Everyone needs to feel wanted, attractive, and sexual. Intimacy is not always about sex, however. It’s about getting the spark back into your relationship.
Think back to how you first felt in the beginning. The butterflies and excitement followed a kiss, hug, or intimate touch. You can have that passion again. To get it, you must do what you did when falling in love. Talk for hours, hold hands, be spontaneous, make out in weird places, brag on each other to your friends and family, and participate in activities they enjoy.
Dating should not stop after marriage. It’s a meaningful way to keep romance healthy and active.
Brief Couples Counseling
You are not the only couple trying to figure out how to make your relationship better. You may benefit from attending a group with other couples. Or you can engage in couples counseling for a short period to learn more about empowerment.
Knowledge is power. You can get the knowledge you need, then use it to empower your partner for a better relationship. You can start today by reaching out to a licensed marriage and family counselor.