The definition of family has evolved drastically over the years. You do not need to be related by blood to be considered a family member.
If you take a walk around your neighborhood, every home contains different family relationships. Some homes consist of children being raised by married parents that have never been married. Some homes consist of remarried blended families. Some have couples who are cohabitating, while others have individuals caring for their elderly parents.
The one thing most homes have in common is that a family relationship exists inside the house. This does not mean all the family relationships are healthy, however. Even when intentions and efforts are good, families can still struggle when it comes to forming positive relationships.
People are different, even when they are from the same family. We would not want everyone to be the same. That may be boring, right? But for a family to thrive with all their differences, they must learn to improve relationships with one another.
You may be wondering how to help your family improve relationships. Like everything, it is a process, but it does not have to be a long or painful journey. With the right teacher, your family can transform into a highly functional group that provides support, love, and respect to each other.
The right teacher can be a licensed marriage and family therapist. They are trained to help you learn specific actions that will make your relationships thrive. Some of these actions are listed below.
Emotional Intelligence
Becoming emotionally intelligent means you learn how to recognize and express your emotions appropriately. It is more about your reactions to others rather than changing the behaviors of others.
Emotional intelligence improves family relationships because you each learn to listen better, choose the emotions that fit your responses to one another and take responsibility for your positive and negative actions. Knowing when to apologize, show thanks, give and show generosity are other behaviors you can learn.
With each family member taking care of themselves emotionally, your overall relationships can be enhanced.
Communication Skills
One of the biggest problems among families is the inability to communicate well. You may find yourself working while talking to your spouse, your kids may be on social media while you are asking them about their day, or the television may be blaring in the background of your conversations.
Good communication in a family means giving someone your full, undivided attention, without distractions. Provide an environment that lets you listen, reflect, and stay focused. This way, you do not miss anything that is said, or any emotions or body language shown.
Open communication is encouraged and done in a non-harmful manner. While everyone should express how they feel, no one should be allowed to verbally or physically abuse another. You want the time you spend together to have a positive outcome.
Spending Quality Time Together
There is a big difference between everyone hanging out in their home, doing their own thing, not interacting at all, and quality time. Just because you are in the same environment does not mean your time together is productive.
Learning how to spend quality time will improve family relationships through one-on-one activities, group activities, eating, and having fun together. Building positive memories to replace any past negative ones is a good goal to have in your family.
Giving Each Other Space
I know I just mentioned spending more time together. However, it is also just as important to understand when you each need time alone. Healthy family members have a good balance of wanting to be by themselves and wanting to be in a group.
If out of balance, a person can become codependent or completely isolate and withdraw. Neither is useful for improving family relationships.
With your licensed family therapist's help, your family can establish healthy boundaries that bring you closer and help you all grow independently. Parents must take a leadership role and provide good role modeling for the rest of the family.
Work As a Team
To improve family relationships, learn to work as a team. When one family member is doing all the work while the others do as they please, resentment can build, and fighting within the family will happen. Each family member needs to participate in keeping the household running smoothly. Responsibilities should be as evenly divided as possible.
The chores can rotate each week to make sure no one feels they are burdened more than others.
Another important key to working successfully as a team is to complement each other on a job well done, show appreciation, and give thanks. Small gestures like this can boost morale and make you feel valued.
Commitment to Improving Relationships
Studies have found one of the most critical strengths shown by family members who have a good relationship includes commitment. By commitment, researchers suggest each family member needs to put forth an effort to strengthen connections.
Each person needs to be involved in resolving problems and sharing space to provide emotional support and having fun. They also must be committed to positive change.
For some, any change can feel scary. They get comfortable and even feel secure in a negative relationship, simply because of habit. This is when the rest of the family can implement what they have learned to provide support and security.
In conclusion, improving the relationships within your family can be a top priority. By implementing what you learn after working with a family therapist, you can start to see benefits right away.
You can even start today, making improvements by collectively creating a plan of action. Allow all family members to be a part of each step of the process. Every family member can add value. When allowed to make important decisions as a team, you can all feel positivity such as, belonging, trust, respect, and importance. Everyone will become more invested in improving relationships. You cannot fix all problems overnight, but you can start to see improvements right away.