The American Psychological Association reports healthy marriages are good for your physical and mental health. There are specific advantages to a healthy marriage. Harvard Health claims married people have fewer strokes and heart attacks, lower depression rates, and survive major operations at a higher rate.
There are financial and social benefits too.
Marriage can be stressful, and because the divorce rate is high among Americans, we know it can lead to many adverse outcomes.
No matter where your marriage is on the spectrum of good to bad, there is always room for improvement. Even in the most successful marriages, couples choose to improve their relationship to make sure they grow together rather than apart. They do what it takes to stay committed.
Below are more actions couples take to improve their marriages that you and your spouse can do too. Your relationship is worth the effort.
Change the Way You Think
Thoughts lead to feelings and actions. When you think of your spouse, are your thoughts negative or positive? If negative, you are liking feeling disappointed and dissatisfied, and the things you say and do to your spouse reflect your unhappiness.
And vice versa.
But if you start changing negative thoughts to positive ones, you will quickly realize your feelings and actions will change.
Over time, it is easy to focus on the things you don’t like about someone. However, it is a choice. In the early months of your relationship, you chose to focus on your partner's positive traits rather than the annoying ones. You can do this again. Each time a negative thought about your spouse pops in your head, immediately replace it with a flattering thought. Then, share your positive thoughts.
Compliment Your Spouse
Going days, weeks, or months without a compliment from someone you love can hurt. It can make you feel unloved and undervalued. Words have power. Whether it is a simple thank-you, an apology, or praise, words change you. A lack of words can create change also.
How long has it been since you have complimented your spouse? Do they look surprised or think you are up to no good when you compliment them? If so, it may be possible you are not using words of appreciation enough. Some say it takes seven positive statements to make up for one negative.
Depending on your relationship communication, you could owe a lot of compliments.
Working with a marriage counselor can help you improve how you communicate in your marriage.
Don’t Wait to Get Help
Some of the most successful marriages have benefited from marriage counseling. Even pre-marital counseling offers advantages to couples.
It is okay to ask a professional for help. You go to the doctor when you are sick, a financial advisor when you want investment guidance, and a marriage counselor when you need advice on how to improve your relationship.
Millions of people seek help from Licensed Marriage Therapists. It shows you care enough about your family to learn how to stay united. Plus, improving skills such as communication can help you succeed in other areas of your life too.
Have Fun Together
Right now, you are making memories with your spouse. If you are arguing, you are creating a memory. If you are participating in fun activities, you are creating memories. It is up to you which type of memories you establish, positive or negative.
To improve your relationship, however, you need to create better memories, more often. Having fun, laughing, and enjoying yourself boosts the happy chemicals in your brain. It makes you crave more good times. It brings you and your spouse closer.
If you want to be happy, you must start doing happy things together. You can’t expect happiness to land on your doorstep. You have to go after it. When you start chasing happiness, you will influence your spouse to do the same.
Give What You Want
This may sound confusing at first, but it is a powerful statement. If you want to be treated with respect, you must also give it. To receive compliments, you may need to be the first to compliment your spouse. If you want your spouse to be more romantic, you, too, need to be more romantic.
Your actions are a form of communication. If you wish for more physical connection with your spouse, you must avoid behaving in a closed-off, distancing manner. Physical communication is not the only way to express yourself.
Express Yourself Effectively
Working with a counselor can help you learn communication skills. There are proven ways to verbally communicate to help you argue, resolve problems, make decisions, and draw you closer.
All couples fight. It would help if you learned the right way to resolve conflict.
To improve your relationship, you must learn to communicate effectively in all forms. How you talk or do not communicate to someone in-person, on the phone, via text or email lets that person know how you feel about them. If you don’t respond to text messages, they may feel like you do not care.
Neglect is abuse. It is essential you and your spouse find ways to express yourself that bring you closer together, especially when making decisions that could affect your marriage.
Marriage Minded Decisions
When you make a decision, keep your marriage in mind. If your young co-workers ask you to go bar hopping with them after work, think about how this may affect your marriage before you accept.
When you get your paycheck, decisions about where your money is spent, saved, or shared, should be done together. Many relationships struggle when one spouse feels more like a parent than a partner. It is unfair to both of you if one is making all the decisions, and one is making none of them. This creates an unhealthy balance.
You are both valuable in your relationship. Making all decisions together will make you feel more like a team.
In conclusion, you can start today, improving your relationship. Commit to seeking ways like the ones discussed above. Your relationship is worth it.