Whether you’re experiencing problems in your relationship or you’re interested in strengthening your relationship as an exercise with your partner, couples counseling may be just the solution you’re looking for.
In this article, we’re taking a closer look at the question so you know what to expect if you decide to explore it with your partner.
So, what is couples counseling?
What is Couples Counseling?
Think back to the day you first met your partner. Where were you? What were the circumstances of your meeting? Like most, that initial meeting is filled with positive moments that are now great memories.
This phase, often called the honeymoon phase, lasts a few months and is followed by a period where you must decide to continue investing in this relationship or end it. During this time, you will discover the differences you share and how you handle the differences.
This is when you get to know how you each resolve conflicts, communicate on important subjects and build trust.
The next phase involves growing as a couple, while also maintaining your independence. It is where you both find a healthy balance of trust, security, confidence that helps you incorporate your new relationship into other areas of your life.
Finally, after many months of dating, you will come to the phase where you decide to commit to a long-term relationship or break it off.
These are five stages that every relationship goes through. At any point during these stages, a relationship can have its ups and downs. At any time, a relationship can benefit from couples counseling.
Seeking help in dealing with relationship issues is what couples counseling is all about.
There are clues to look for when trying to decide if or when you should seek couples counseling.
When to Seek Couples Counseling
If the thought of going to couples counseling enters your mind on multiple occasions, this could be a sign your relationship could use support. Your instincts are often correct.
Communication problems can also warrant help from a counselor. Whether you have communication problems in person, via text messaging, or on the phone, a therapist can teach you how to talk to one another positively.
Seeking help if you are struggling with trust can help you learn techniques to build or rebuild trust in your relationship. Whether you have trust problems from previous relationships or there has been a violation of trust in your current relationship, you can overcome this together.
A few more reasons for seeking counseling may include premarital counseling, which can benefit every couple. Or, sexual and intimacy issues that can induce anxiety and insecurities. Counseling can teach you how to manage family and friendships that cause interference with your partner, how to find balance when trying to blend families and can even help you end your relationship and provide coping skills to deal with grief and stress of the termination.
These are just a few issues that marriage and family therapists encounter in counseling. They are not the only ones, however. In fact, there are many common issues that couples face.
Further reading:
Common Issues of Couples in Counseling
Some couples go to counseling for major issues like infidelity. Others go to get help making an important decision. Some need help reconnecting and feeling close again when they feel as if they are growing apart.
Premarital counseling is extremely beneficial. Therapists can act as mediators and ask the crucial questions that should be determined prior to the wedding. Issues like religion, children, politics, values, beliefs, finances, dreams, and goals.
Many relationships are strong until the introduction of the in-laws. Extended family members can sometimes cause a rift between couples. Working with a therapist can help you resolve these issues without breaking connections.
Therapists can offer needed advice on how to create boundaries, how to cope if technology is creating a barrier, meeting emotional needs, parenting advice, and major life changes that alter the course of your life. You must be able to work together as a team when facing major changes.
All these positive benefits don’t happen overnight. But they don’t have to take months and months of therapy either. The time spent in counseling varies among couples. Typically, however, there are different stages each couple will go through.
Stages of Couples Counseling
The stages of couples counseling are like the stages of your relationship. You and your partner will start therapy with your counselor by getting to know one another and building trust. You are evaluating the therapist to make sure he or she is the right one to help you with your relationship issues. Your therapist will also conduct an assessment of you.
In the next phase, your therapist will begin treatment, utilize resources, and introduce you to techniques that can help your relationship improve. You will be expected to participate in your own therapy. Your therapist will work with both of you to heal the hurts from the past so you can focus on building a stronger relationship in the future.
Finally, ending the therapeutic relationship will take place. By now, you have learned many techniques that can help you long after therapy ends.
Helpful Counseling Techniques
The Gottman Method is a couples therapy technique that uses activities like creating love maps and conflict management to help you better understand your partner’s emotions. These techniques have been researched and proven effective for many years.
Other techniques include emotionally focused therapy, positive psychology, narrative therapy and even how to be your own therapist when you encounter an obstacle. There are techniques available to you for intimacy, better communication, appreciation, and trust.
You may be asking, if you try all of this, how will you know if it worked?
How to Tell If It Works
Every couple has this question. It’s important and deserves a great answer.
You will know your relationship is working if you notice positive improvements happening in your relationship. Even small improvements show progress.
You can also use assessments to check on progress. For example, the Dyadic Adjustment Scale
Dyadic Adjustment Scale is one tool created to help you evaluate relationship satisfaction. You can review the results together, or follow-up with your therapist to discuss results.
In conclusion, your relationship can benefit from couples counseling. It can help in repairing, maintaining or improving your current relationship or marriage. Counseling can also assist couples in becoming more emotionally connected or intimate. Finally, couples counseling can help you process reasons to stay or respectfully end the relationship.
You and your partner are worth the effort of counseling, especially if there is a chance of building an even stronger union.