What if you learned there is a way to get to know your partner before you marry them? Or that there is a proven program to increase your odds of having a happy, healthy marriage? You would be all in, correct? There is a way, and it is recommended for all couples. Premarital counseling has been used for decades to help couples strengthen their relationship before walking down the aisle.
Data shows premarital counseling increases marital success rates by 30% when participating in an average of eight hours of therapy. How can a relationship improve so much in such a short time? The answer is not a one-size-fit-all answer. Instead, it is a combination of the numerous benefits of premarital counseling.
Each benefit provides you with more information about your future spouse that does not cross your mind at the beginning of your relationship or throughout the excitement of planning a wedding. But five or ten years post-marriage, you can ask yourself questions like, “do I know my spouse?” or “who did I marry?”
Below are eleven benefits of premarital counseling to help you confirm you are with the right partner or if the wedding needs to be put on hold.
Premarital Counseling Improves Communication
Studies show communication between spouses affects the relationship. When done right, marriages are more positive, and each partner feels more secure and optimistic. Premarital counseling can help you learn communication skills for communicating correctly. Good communication skills include respect, body language, empathy, listening, and being able to admit when you are wrong and apologize.
Premarital Counseling Teaches Problem Solving
For many couples, resolving problems becomes an argument with two people trying to win the conflict. It does not have to be this way, however. Premarital counseling can teach specific steps to help you work as a team to resolve issues. Steps can include using your new communication skills, having the attitude that you will reach a solution that satisfies you both, and showing affection while problem-solving. Also, taking responsibility for your behavior, so your partner will have the courage to do the same.
Premarital Counseling Helps You Learn Preferences
You and your spouse are different people, with different likes and dislikes, backgrounds, and goals. While opposites attract on some issues, there are major issues where you and your spouse must be on the same page. Examples include getting the vaccine, religion, having children and how many, the type of school your children will attend, politics, and finances. If one of you likes to have debt and the other wants to live debt-free, It is essential to figure out how to make this work in advance. Premarital counseling can help you work through all these issues.
Premarital Counseling Addresses Expectations
Likely, you and your spouse were raised with different expectations of a healthy marriage. You may have been raised in a single-parent home due to divorce with multiple siblings, all of which had specific household duties and roles. Your spouse may have been raised as an only child with both parents who hired professionals to cook and clean for the family. In premarital counseling, you and your future spouse can address these expectations and create a plan that makes both of you happy.
Premarital Counseling Gets Intimate
For many couples, intimacy changes after marriage. The ups and downs of daily life stressors seem to take a toll on your libido. Pregnancy, having multiple young children, career, extended family, financial issues, social obligations, and household chores are a few examples of life stressors. With premarital counseling, you can learn how to prioritize intimacy in your marriage.
Premarital Counseling Helps You Maintain Focus
When your relationship began, you discussed the goals you want to accomplish in life, together and separately. After marriage, the goals evolve, and if your relationship is not strong, they may take you in opposite directions. Premarital counseling helps you and your spouse set short-term and long-term goals and steps to reach the plans and teaches you how to prevent distractions and stay focused.
Premarital Counseling Identifies Deal Breakers
All couples have limits and boundaries that should be respected. It may be awkward to talk about things like infidelity or verbal and emotional abuse, but it is necessary. You and your spouse should know what it is that would make you leave the relationship. Premarital counseling helps you set boundaries and agree on what is acceptable and unacceptable in your relationship.
Premarital Counseling Teaches Decision-Making Skills
Sometimes your spouse makes a decision without you, likely a decision that will not have too much cause and effect. When big decisions need to be made, it is imperative that you make them together and that you are both satisfied. One person making all the decisions makes you feel like you have a parent-child, or dictator, type of marriage.
Working with a licensed marriage and family therapist, you can learn the skills to make decisions as a couple.
Premarital Counseling Compares Values, Beliefs, and Morals
Before the wedding, you are so in love that you overlook some differences that pop up, showing your partner’s values, beliefs, and morals. Examples of differences include:
Watching pornography
Spanking to discipline children
Open marriage
Addiction
Premarital counseling is a safe place where you can discuss your values, beliefs, and morals.
Premarital Counseling Teaches Financial Health
Finances are one of the top reasons for divorce in America. You must be on the same page regarding money, including who will work, who pays the bills, will the account be joint or separate, saving, spending, and giving money. Premarital counseling can prevent financial surprises that can cause a rift in your relationship.
Premarital Counseling Can Begin Today
If you and your future spouse seek premarital counseling, you will get these benefits and many more. Reach out to a licensed marriage and family counselor to strengthen your relationship and prepare for a great future. Premarital counseling is something you can do with your future spouse starting today.