Answering the question, “Is marriage therapy worth it?” cannot be done with a simple “yes” or “no.” The answer varies for every couple, depending on numerous factors, such as your motivation to improve the relationship, commitment to the relationship, willingness to change, and the effort you put into therapy.
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) claims that ¾ of participants report relationship improvements after therapy. One reason may be that it is led by licensed marriage and family therapists with education and training in this field.
Your therapist provides a safe space for speaking and listening without judgment. You can talk without escalating to an argument and learn tools to help you improve areas such as communication, intimacy, conflict resolution, parenting, and problem-solving.
You may be wondering if you and your partner need to go to marriage therapy. You wonder if your problems are bad enough to warrant help. The answer is there is never a wrong time to see a marriage therapist, even when your relationship is going well. Every relationship, healthy or unhealthy, can benefit by learning new ways to improve your marriage.
Do You Need Marriage Therapy?
While marriage therapy can help all relationships, some marriages are in more need of immediate assistance. Below are some questions to help you decide if you can benefit from seeking treatment as a couple.
Are you and your spouse living separate lives?
Do conversations with your spouse often turn into arguments?
Does your romantic life lack intimacy and fun?
Have you or your spouse been unfaithful?
Do you and your spouse fight about finances?
Are you or your spouse thinking about divorce?
Is your family going through a significant transition or change?
Do you or your spouse have a substance use disorder?
Are you or your spouse verbally, physically, or psychologically abusive to the other?
Does one or both of you have a mental health disorder?
Answering yes to any of these questions signifies you can benefit from marriage therapy.
Why is Marriage Therapy Worth It?
Working with a marriage therapist means you get help expressing yourself to your partner. Your partner gets help in hearing what you are saying and vice versa. A therapist can work as a mediator so you can both be heard and then help you reflect on your thoughts and feelings.
You and your spouse do not have to worry about your problems being shared with anyone since counseling is confidential by law. As you progress in marriage therapy, the following benefits can occur:
Get to know each other again. Marriages grow and develop, just like you do. A marriage therapist can teach you how to grow together rather than in separate directions.
Get to the root of your relationship problems, the underlying issues that create the surface-level dysfunction.
Resolve your problems with new, more appropriate skills.
Figure out the roles each of you play, sort responsibilities, and learn which duties need input from you as a couple rather than individually.
Learn how to make time for intimacy.
Set short-term and long-term goals and steps to reach them.
Get engaged and excited in your relationship again.
Overcome infidelity and trust issues.
Financial planning and budgeting techniques.
Of course, there are many more benefits than the ones listed.
What is the Process of Marriage Therapy?
The first step of the marriage therapy process is to find a licensed marriage and family therapist. When searching, check out their reviews or ask for references. Word-of-mouth referrals are sometimes the best. If you know a couple, who had a successful experience, even if their marriage did not make it, ask for their therapist’s contact information.
You can also check online reviews. Rather than signing up with the first therapist who answers your call, take time to ask questions to see if they will be a good fit. For example, if you and your spouse are religious and want a Christian counselor, ask the therapist if they incorporate faith-based activities.
If you or your spouse has a drug or alcohol use disorder, make sure the therapist has expertise and experience treating addiction.
On average, couples attend ten to twelve marriage therapy sessions. Early sessions are spent getting to know one another and the process. You set therapy goals to give you direction. The remaining sessions will include activities to help you reach your goals.
Is Divorce Therapy Worth It?
Not all couples decide to stay together. For some, marriage therapy helps them see divorce as a better idea. Separating, especially when children are involved, benefits greatly from marriage therapy. Your therapist can help you get on the same page and put your children’s needs first, avoiding the drama of divorce experienced by many couples.
Even if you do not have children, divorce therapy can help you end a relationship peacefully and on good terms. You can work through all issues while getting objective feedback and advice.
Which Techniques Make Marriage Therapy Worth It?
When searching for the right marriage and family therapist, you want to find one that uses evidence-based techniques when working with you and your spouse. Examples of strategies that work include the following:
The Gottman Method
With the Gottman Method, your marriage therapist will help you improve your relationship in nine areas: trust, commitment, sharing, and getting to know your partner better.
Intimacy Enhancement
Intimacy enhancement consists of tools to bring you and your spouse closer romantically.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)
EFCT helps you and your spouse regulate emotions when communicating to have more positive daily interactions.
Positive Psychology
Positive psychology teaches you to focus on the strengths and positive aspects of each other and your relationship rather than the negative aspects.
In conclusion, gaining new relationship skills, receiving advice from a professional, and reaching healthy resolutions make marriage therapy worth it. You will have more direction, understanding, and peace in just a few weeks. If your relationship needs help, don’t wait any longer. You can reach out today online or by phone.