Whether you are just entering a relationship or have been married for decades, you want your relationship to be healthy and happy. You want the good memories to outnumber the negative times and there will be difficulty. No couple is immune to encountering obstacles.
Healthy relationships do not exist without efforts put forth by you and your partner. It's called relationship equity, or the work you put into making your marriage the best it can be.
There have been many studies on the exact actions that create healthy relationships for couples. Some of the findings are listed below as tips for you to try with your partner.
1. Understand and Meet Your Needs
Although your goal is to improve your relationship, you only control one half of the relationship, your half. If you are unhealthy, it will be tough to make positive contributions to your relationship.
A healthy relationship tip for couples is first to practice self-care, to understand and meet your mental and physical health needs.
2. Understand Your Relationship
You can't know what to fix or strengthen in your relationship if you do not understand it. Take time to think about each of your roles, how are responsibilities divided, and are you both included in making important decisions?
What other factors, positive and negative, define your relationship?
3. Create Your Definition of Intimacy
For some couples, intimacy means cuddling, and it happens every night. For other couples, intimacy implies sex, and it happens once a month. Each couple can have a different definition of intimacy. What is yours? Is it the same as your partner's definition?
Creating your definition of intimacy with your partner can be a fun way to bring you closer and create a healthier relationship.
4. Compliments vs. Criticisms
Words are powerful. It seems easier for many couples to criticize rather than point out all their good qualities. With stressful, long days, you may not feel emotionally capable of offering a compliment. But criticisms are challenging to overcome. It can take numerous compliments to outweigh just one complaint.
To form a healthier relationship, flip the numbers. Make sure you give your partner more compliments than criticisms. Offer criticisms the right way, in a constructive rather than demeaning manner.
5. Language and Communication
How you communicate with your partner can lead to healthy or unhealthy relationships. If you continuously curse your partner, call them names, or even avoid talking to them at all, your relationship is considered abusive. If you are doing this through all communication avenues, like texting, in-person conversations, and emails, your relationship is unhealthy.
To create a healthy relationship, make sure the language you use, even body language, is positive, and sends messages to your partner that you still love them even when you disagree.
Furthermore, know when to admit you are wrong and apologize and when to tell your partner they are right or have done something well. Brag to your partner about their outstanding qualities. Brag to others about your partner's great qualities.
The more you focus on the positive, the less you focus on the negative. This is important because thoughts lead to feelings and actions.
6. Learn Together
You may hear couples who claim they "have grown apart." This can happen when couples learn, grow, and develop individually rather than as a couple.
Find ways to learn, grow, and develop together. Find common interests and explore those as a team. Strengthen your relationship by participating in activities that enhance your bond.
Working with a couples counselor is one way to do this. Your counselor can help you and your spouse set goals, teach you techniques to bring you closer, build trust, and improve communication skills.
7. Problem Solve Together
If an issue arises, but only one of you decides how to resolve it, you do not have a healthy relationship. As a couple, you must make decisions together, whether related to finances, chores, children, work, or even what's for dinner.
Healthy relationships give each person a voice.
8. Fight the Right Way
Every couple has disagreements. You are two different people with different perceptions. Conflicts do not need to lead to knock down drag outs, however. There is a right way to argue and keep your relationship healthy.
Working with a marriage counselor, you can learn how to handle conflict using respect while still being heard. You can learn positive ways to end an argument so that neither of you is left feeling undervalued. You can both reason and collaborate for the best resolution.
9. Do Fun Stuff
So far, the tips have focused on fighting, learning, communicating, and understanding one another. These are great, but one of the most important tips is to have fun. When you laugh and enjoy being with your spouse, you create positive memories. You start to crave more of the good times that strengthen your relationship, similar to when you first fell in love.
You will see a shift for the better in your relationship as the number of fun times grow. Try activities your partner enjoys, even if you don't. Then, do things you enjoy. This will help you get to know your spouse better too.
10. Quality Time Apart
While having fun and spending quality time together is key to building a healthy relationship, it is just as important to spend quality time apart. If you don't, you could lose your independence within your union.
Quality time apart means doing activities that boost your confidence and make you feel good so that you can be a better partner to the one you love.
11. Make It a Priority
Whatever you spend the most time on is the thing that will thrive. If you spend all your time at work, you will likely have a great career. Other areas will suffer, however, like your relationship.
Making your relationship a priority is the final tip to create a healthy relationship. You deserve a long, happy life with your spouse. Focus on a better future; start today using these tips.