You need emotional support and a sense of belonging. You need a place where you feel accepted and loved unconditionally. You need good role models and the opportunity to be a good role model.
These are just a few reasons family relationships are essential. In a perfect world, the relationship you have with family members meet your needs and vice versa. Perfect family relationships are rare if they exist at all.
The reason is simple; we are all human. Mistakes are made, feelings are hurt, and miscommunications happen every day. Just because your family relationship is not perfect does not mean it cannot be improved. They can, and your family deserves all the benefits that come with strengthening bonds among loved ones.
Below are a few tips for improving your family relationships.
Tip: Take Care of Yourself
You’ve likely heard the statement that you can’t effectively take care of someone else unless you take care of yourself first. This message about self-care should be taken seriously by everyone. If you have emotional or physical needs that haven’t been met, they will eventually interfere with your relationships.
For example, symptoms of depression can include sadness, fatigue, body aches, loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, and isolation from friends and families. If you do not make your mental health a priority, it may cause division in your family, which is the opposite of the next tip.
Tip: Be Together
The more time you spend together, the more opportunities to make improvements in your relationships. Spending time together means participating in activities together. The goal is to create as many positive memories as possible to outweigh the negative.
When you are together, have fun, learn something new as a group, hold meaningful conversations where all ideas are appreciated, and again, have fun. Cook together, eat together, play together, and ultimately, grow together.
Tip: Work with a Family Therapist
It’s okay to need a little help sometimes when trying to improve family relationships. Family therapists understand the dynamics of the family structure, roles, and how to break through barriers that may be hindering growth in your family’s relationships.
Family therapists have specific tools and techniques to improve communication, balance duties, and set boundaries. You can quickly see positive changes when working with a specialist.
Tip: Make Decisions
To help everyone in the family feel as if they belong, allow everyone to have input on both small and large decisions that apply to them. If your family is like most, one person plans the meals, handles the finances, and makes most of the "final decisions." This is not fair to anyone in the family.
Including all members in decision-making gives value and worth to each of you while also strengthening you as a group.
Tip: Argue the Right Way
Yes, there is a right way to argue with your family members, and it does not involve yelling, screaming, punching, hitting, storming, or slamming. There is a process to arguing that requires respect, listening, staying calm, and coming to a resolution together.
Working with a family therapist, you can learn conflict resolution and anger management skills that will significantly improve relationships in your family.
Tip: Show Support
Showing support is done with specific actions. If a family member is having a bad day, stop what you are doing and spend time listening to their issues, showing affection, and providing cheer. If a family member is playing in a sports game, show up and cheer for them. If a family member is struggling with a task, assist them.
You will likely see the more support you offer, the more you will get in return.
Tip: Know When to Take a Break
This tip is not suggesting you ignore the above steps of spending more time together. However, it is crucial to know when a family member needs space. Sometimes taking a few minutes to be alone, destress, and regroup can prevent frustration and miscommunication.
Teach your family members how to ask for time out alone rather than trying to stuff emotions. Learning to work through emotions independently increases maturity and self-reliance.
Tip: Set Goals
You and each of your family members have individual goals. You have family goals too. To improve family relationships, spend time discussing them together. You can take goal-setting one step further by creating a family vision board where each of you posts dreams and bucket list items in a collage format. Hang it in a place in your home where everyone can see it daily.
The more your family works towards goals together; you will develop into a healthy, supportive team.
Tip: Build Healthy Habits
Because life can get so busy between work, home, and school activities, it’s easy to pick up unhealthy habits. Poor diet, lack of exercise, compounding stress, disorganization, clutter, and overspending are a few examples of unhealthy habits.
The good news is that you can replace bad habits with good ones, starting today. If you need help, reach out to your family counselor. You and your family can learn how to work together to implement healthy habits.
Tip: Give Back
If you have ever volunteered in your community, you know how rewarding it can feel. Giving back makes you feel proud, and it can set the tone for having a great day. Think about what giving back could do for your family if you volunteer together.
You will have a shared rewarding experience that strengthens bonds and improves relationships. Find creative ways to give back or help others. If there isn’t a local charity you can all agree on, start your own.
In conclusion, the most critical part of improving family relationships is not the activity you do together. It is about making an effort and having the desire to make things better. In a time when many families find it easier to separate, you are fighting to keep yours together. Keep fighting and working on improvements. Enjoy the positive results you deserve.