More than 125,500 people are marriage and family therapists (MFTs) in America, with more than 75% women. Each MFT works with multiple families daily to resolve many relationship issues. Couples therapy typically involves working with two people in a romantic relationship. Family therapy assists parents, children, extended family, and others who play a significant role in the family system.
Seeking the help of a marriage and family therapist is recommended whether your issues are minor and you need guidance in making decisions or if the problems are severe and a breakdown is occurring. There is no wrong time to ask for help from a marriage and family therapist.
Who is a Marriage and Family Therapist?
Marriage and family therapists gain licensure from the state where they provide therapy. They have a minimum of a master’s degree and multiple certificates or certifications showing their extended annual training. MFTs have thousands of clinically supervised hours of performing counseling duties before they receive licensure.
Therapists have the skills to assist individuals, couples, and families. They view families as a system. When one part of the system is not functioning well, the whole system is affected. An MFT’s goal is to help each part of the family, separately and together to function properly and thrive. If the main problem lies in one family member, involving all family members in the therapeutic process is crucial.
Tasks Performed by a Marriage and Family Therapist
Marriage and family therapists help you resolve problems that exist in your relationships. Problems may be emotional, financial, behavioral, psychological, or a combination. They formulate a diagnosis and treatment plan to help you overcome your relationship problems.
MFTs ensure you understand the counseling process, help you set healthy goals, and assess your progress. Other functions of an MFT include teaching you the necessary skills to overcome obstacles in your relationships. For example, if you and your partner argue often, your therapist will teach you how to resolve conflicts and improve communication properly.
Common Reasons to See A Marriage and Family Therapist
Since the pandemic, the misconception that something must be wrong before you seek help from an MFT is fading, and the number of families reaching out is increasing. One study shows six in ten parents are now seeking therapy for the whole family.
Results of the study also show the most common reasons for seeking therapy include the following:
Mental health symptoms, like anxiety and depression that affect any or all of the family
Substance misuse among one or more family members
Parenting skills
Communication problems
Behavioral problems of children
Intimacy and trust issues
Coping with a family loss or significant change
Most couples and families have multiple areas of concern. For example, when a child has a substance use disorder, parents often disagree on how to parent and lack effective communication. In marriage and family therapy, you can prioritize the problems and work through them quickly with the help of your therapist.
Benefits of Marriage and Family Therapy
Marriage and family therapy consists of setting specific goals and creating steps to reach the goals as quickly as possible. Ten to twelve sessions are typical for most couples and families, with over 90% reporting success, according to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.
Quick results are not the only benefits, though. Many couples and families learn to set healthy boundaries, take better care of their mental and physical health, improve communication skills, define their roles within the relationship, and teach healthy coping skills.
Other benefits of MFT include having someone who will listen to you without judgment in a safe, confidential environment. You gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your needs, and your relationships. You get help healing from past trauma or hurt that may be holding you back. Everyone in the family learns their strengths and how they can contribute to the health of the family system.
Most importantly, you learn how to enjoy being a family.
Differences Between Marriage and Family Therapies
Marriage and family therapists are qualified to provide services to both couples and families. They also offer individual therapies. You can expect different counseling techniques for each.
Couples therapy consists of you, your partner, and your therapist. It is beneficial at any stage of your relationship, even before marriage. Types of treatments include emotionally focused therapy (EFT), which strengthens your connection with your partner. Behavioral couples therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy help you recognize unhealthy thought and behavior patterns and how to replace them with positive ones to strengthen your relationships.
Family therapy consists of you, your therapist, and anyone you consider family, often people impacted by the dysfunction of your family relationships. Family systems therapy uses the strengths of each member to improve relationships. This, with supportive family therapy, teaches everyone how to give and receive support. A vital part of family therapy is ensuring everyone has a chance to speak, be heard, and feel valued.
How to Find a Marriage and Family Therapist
Finding the right marriage and family therapist is like a job interview, with you hiring the best person for the job. Before you hire someone, you want to make sure they are qualified. Where did they receive their education and training?
You also want to learn the approaches they use. MFTs should be familiar with the Gottman method, EFT, family system therapy, integrative behavioral couples therapy, and more. If there are specialty areas of concern in your relationship, ask the therapist directly if they can help. For example, if you and your spouse want to explore an open marriage, you want to know if your therapist supports that lifestyle and the methods available. Or, if divorce is imminent, is divorce counseling an option?
Ask a lot of questions. Check reviews and references. Finally, if you find the therapist is not a good fit, don’t give up. Instead, try a new therapist. You and your loved ones deserve the benefits marriage and family therapy offers.